It’s confusing how gradually someone can build up to be your whole world or then again, how quickly you become a part of someone else’s life or they of yours. It’s not the easiest thing to do but the fight comes naturally and before you know it, you’re there and once you are, there is no turning back and in that moment, you stay forever that way.
You can tell yourself all the cliché good stuff or be the revengeful psycho, acting like you don’t care or are indifferent and it’s true that what you believe does make a difference but when you’re by yourself you think of all those times you’ve had and no matter how you handle it, you’re still standing alone. Lost.
Nothing stays the same and there is nothing you can do to stop change. What we know from the time we open our eyes one day slowly fades, and you’re left standing, not to pause, but to go on. To get some to lose some. Always lost on a road somewhere, tangled in someone’s life. You always know what’s going to happen yet you stall the inevitable. Know that life has other plans yet you plan out your days, your future in the hope that maybe, maybe our dreams stay the same and come to life. What we don’t see is even they change, the dreams – and you start life over and over again going through the whole process each time thinking and hoping and dreaming that maybe…
To be honest, we’re never really in charge. You can go ahead and say MY life but it’s really a tangle of many others’ and deep down, you always know it.
Moments have impact. These outbursts of energy, of such great intensity that they fill our vision till we can see nothing else and then cling to us turning our lives upside down becoming a part of us, of who we are. Each one of us is a sum of every single small moment with all the people we’ve ever known and they make up our history like our personal hits that play and replay in our mind always behind our eyes affecting how we see the world. Each of them making you hard, bracing you, hurting you and each of them simultaneously making you smile, laugh, make you feel special to be a holder of that secret, a bundle of feelings just in some images imbedded somewhere in the hippocampus of our brain. And that’s the part of the past that never loses its impact and hits the same every time but we learn to live with it. Always there. Always with us no matter what we become, where we go, no matter how much things change. That moment, stays that way, Always.