Love your solitude and try to sing out with the pain it causes you. For those who are near you are far away… and this shows that the space around you is beginning to grow vast…. be happy about your growth, in which of course you can’t take anyone with you, and be gentle with those who stay behind; be confident and calm in front of them and don’t torment them with your doubts and don’t frighten them with your faith or joy, which they wouldn’t be able to comprehend. Seek out some simple and true feeling of what you have in common with them, which doesn’t necessarily have to alter when you yourself change again and again; when you see them, love life in a form that is not your own and be indulgent toward those who are growing old, who are afraid of the aloneness that you trust…. and don’t expect any understanding; but believe in a love that is being stored up for you like an inheritance, and have faith that in this love there is a strength and a blessing so large that you can travel as far as you wish without having to step outside it.
– Rainer Maria Rilke; Letters to a Young Poet
They say solitude is the most basic human condition and all the connections that we make are in an attempt to undermine its crushing reality.
Much of our suffering in relationships come from the expectation that the other person would somehow solve this solitude, that somehow we would not feel so alone, trapped in our own heads with no comprehension from another.
We forget though, that we came into this world alone and we have to deal with ourselves, by ourselves. Our problems are our own and to expect any relief from anyone else is but a mere illusion.
They say that other people can relieve that solitude, but that’s only for brief moments – They can give us a glimpse of something else, some place beyond the experience of reality – Some other, less lonely thing that we can only see in flashes, like a dream of a dream. Some place that we can not, as long as we are alive, ever know.
We are all point masses, randomly searching for our place in this universe, striving to belong; We collide with others in the process, giving parts of us away, remaining a little less whole, or so we feel.
I’d like to think that the world is really a thing that is made new each day, regardless of what was left yesterday, for as people, we have to fill our emptiness on our own, command our happiness from within. I’d like to think we can control the order of things at least at that level; The most basic yet the most complex one.
At least, I’d like to think so.